What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How do you stop your balls from sweating?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How should you handle a situation where your friend tells you they like someone who also likes you? Should you tell them or continue as normal?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why do so many people like life?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What one thing makes someone a very mature person?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why do a bra and panties have to match?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Women like what they hear while men like what they see, it that true?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

How do you like to be pegged?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...